The recent barrage of adverts on my television for male plastic surgery (featuring a middle-aged man and an over-pronounced and far too firm jaw line) has set me thinking.
We middle-aged men have always had a reputation for lamenting our lost youth but this has usually taken the form of hankering after secretaries young enough to be our daughters and taking up hobbies that we weren’t really fit enough to do even in our heyday. The lucky few with enough money could take advantage of their no-claims bonus and advancing years to afford the exorbitant insurance premiums of a car with a backseat too small for an oversized Tupperware lunchbox and which was capable of going from 0 to 60 in less time than it takes the average traffic cop to say, “You’re nicked, sir”.
The reality is that a lot of men are now more worried about a lost career than a lost youth. As a result, they are turning to plastic surgeons to make them look younger and healthier – much the same as the concentration camp inmates tried to make themselves look fitter than they were so that they could enjoy the privilege of being put to work rather than being used as an alternative fuel source.
OK, I’m watching television in Italy – a nation renowned for its self-consciousness and primping with its evening strolls up and down the streets as they do La Passeggiata. The fact that they even have a word for it speaks volumes. Not only that, Italy has ‘only’ 9% unemployment.
But it’s not just an Italian thing. In the US, a country with much more of a reputation among middle-aged men for ‘letting themselves go’, there was a 2% increase in the number of procedures between 2009 and 2010 according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, and this percentage is continuing to rise. In the UK, the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons has declared that the number of men putting themselves ‘under the knife’ has risen by 7% in a year.
Some ideas are better than others
Some of the most popular procedures are for facelifts, browlifts and botox for saggy jowls.
A facelift, or rhytidectomy as it is called, typically costs between £4,000 and £6,000 – not cheap – but, if you’re a senior manager whose been out of work for some time, maybe it’s worth a gamble. You’re in competition with youngsters who learn faster, work for less, and are generally expected to be more reliable healthwise.
Is it a good idea to have one if you can afford it?
Well, you can’t run with the hare and hunt with the hounds even if it were still permitted. If you are going to pretend to be a thirtysomething instead of a fiftysomething, you have to be able to carry it off in every sense. It’s no good getting the job and then running out of steam.
Instead of plastic surgery, why not choose a regime of something more affordable: a healthier lifestyle (exercise, low-sugar and fat, fresh vegetables and fruit, while cutting back on the booze) is a start. After a few months, you should find that you look and feel considerably younger.
Next, use the one thing that your young competitors for jobs haven’t got – experience – but use the concept advisedly. When you write your covering letters, don’t bleat on lamely about how you’ve ‘been around for years’ and ‘know the ropes’, write about how you ‘have contacts’, ‘can make things happen’ and have a ‘proven track record of delivering the goods’. Now you need to cancel out your main Achilles Heel – lack of ambition. Many older men come across as ‘just looking for a job’ – something that will keep them occupied this side of retirement. Who wants to employ someone like that when there are others with drive and focus?
Make sure that you convince your employer that you are still wanting to go places with your career. State some ambitions, goals, things you have yet to achieve.
If you’re old enough to remember the Six Million Dollar Man and you are looking for work, then do you go for a sharp knife or a sharp pencil? The choice is yours.
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