- The after-effect of a bad handshake?
Shaking hands is the time-honoured way of greeting either a stranger or a formal acquaintance. Our rules of such etiquette are quite simple – if a hug or kiss isn’t appropriate, then shake hands. What else is there to be said?
Well … it isn’t quite so simple. Just as there are a host of different kisses (I don’t think Auntie Jane would appreciate a game of tonsil-hockey), there are easily as many different types of handshakes and I’m not talking about secret (or not-so-secret) societies, either. Just think for a moment about when you’ve been on the receiving end. How often have you been immediately put off the other person because their handshake was overly-familiar, limp, languid, clammy, bone-breaking, arm-dislocating etc?
… and that’s what you might be doing to employers.
A recent survey said that 20% of employers admitted that they formed an opinion about an interviewee on the back of their handshake. And that’s just the ones who admitted it – I suspect the actual number is a lot higher. After all, what about the adage ‘First impressions count’? While you’re sitting there burbling away about how much you want the job, how you are just the right person, and how this is an important step in your career path, the interviewer is thinking, “Oh no, I’ll have to shake hands again at the end. I wonder if I can think of an excuse not to”.
That isn’t going to end in a job offer, is it?
The reason I’m putting up this blog now is that the festive period is an ideal time for meeting new people or others whom you may not have seen for a long time. This is when you get to practice your handshake and notice the effect different types have on you.
A brief rule of thumb (and I don’t mean using it to send secret messages) about how to shake hands is to follow this procedure:
- Make sure that your palm is both warm and dry beforehand (cold or clammy hands are a real turn off)
- When shaking hands, use only your right (i.e. don’t reinforce it by placing your left on the forearm of the other person)
- Lean towards the other party (this shows confidence while also avoiding invading their body space)
- Look into their eyes for the duration of the handshake and then look away (too much eye contact is as bad as too little)
- Shake firmly for about 5 to 8 seconds and then release (you should shake about 5 times during this period)
- Imagine you were leading a reluctant child by the hand – how much squeezing force would you use to make sure that you neither hurt them nor might allow them to get away? That’s the right amount.
- Do not pull the other person towards you (this is both invasive and aggressive).
Just having a good handshake isn’t enough on its own to get you the job but it is an important weapon in your arsenal. Getting into the interview room is pointless if you’re then going to be one of the 20 percent plus who blow their chances with a lousy handshake.
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