I remember a lifetime ago when I was at school, Latin was something we studied for 5 hours a week and, although I wasn’t a confirmed hater of its complex grammar, I admit I couldn’t see the relevance … until one day.
There’s no point in boring you with the syntax – it’s all explained in detail on the internet. Just look up ‘num and nonne’ and it’s there in all its grammatical glory. What I’m about to explain is how to manipulate the modern English language in a similar way to that which Roman orators used in the forum.
Let’s begin by looking at three versions of the same simple question.
Have you ever sat in a meeting, bored rigid by what is going on around you but fascinated by the plate of biscuits that someone’s brought in? There’s one tempting chocolate bikky (in with a whole heap of tooth-breakers and compressed sawdust offerings) and you want it. Someone reaches out towards it before you can get there. Which of the three following versions of the same question should you ask:
- “Do you want the chocolate biscuit?”
- “You’d like the chocolate biscuit, wouldn’t you?”
- “You’re not going to eat the chocolate biscuit, are you?”
Let’s assume for a moment that your voice would remain even for each option. The first question is completely neutral – superficially it’s a straightforward YES/NO scenario.
The second version of the question acknowledges the other person’s ‘seniority’ in their rights over the chocolate biscuit. It is a weak attempt at morally blackmailing them into saying “No, you have it” but it is far more likely to be met with something along the lines of “Yes, I would actually – I do rather like them.” And, with that, the biscuit is theirs.
The third question is strong. While there is nothing physical to prevent the other person from taking the biscuit and putting it straight into their mouth, the question expects the answer “Um, well, no … I um wasn’t.” Of course they were going to until you stepped in.
Now, imagine you want to make it even more difficult for them to get the prize.
“Surely you’re not going to eat the one and only chocolate biscuit, are you?”
This emphasises the fact that there is only one biscuit of its kind and also states your disapproval of their action before they’ve even done it.
In animal terms, it would put you in the role of the pack leader. Your approval is being sought before a lower ranking member of the pack is allowed to feed. You decide who will get the prize and who will get the scraps.
Admittedly it is a long way from exerting influence over a chocolate biscuit in a company hoo-hah, to being the leader, but it is a very simple step in the right direction. Management is about mental control over subordinates. There is no requirement for any physical strength – merely a strong presence. The choice of language is a key component.
Try putting this into effect. Before you ask a question, think of the answer you want to hear and then phrase it accordingly. Words such as ‘surely’, ‘never’ and ‘naturally’ can be used to force the issue, and ‘tacked on’ secondary questions like ‘aren’t you’ or ‘are you’ to the end of the principal question can make a huge difference to the response.
String a series of questions together whereby the first expects ‘no’, the second ‘yes’ and the third ‘no’ and so on, and you will really disorientate someone. It is a standard interrogation technique – try it out!
So, you’ve got that now, haven’t you? See what I mean? You do, don’t you? Surely I don’t have to say it all again, do I? You were paying attention, weren’t you?
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